I like that robogordon is investigating a powerful symbol and its personal meaning- already intrigued.
Additional nuance and emotional flavour through spoken word elements, great!
This pitch is very unique and I like it. good job! I agree with John, would need a lot of visuals. The spoken pieces are very interesting, but yes, they would need equally dynamic visuals to hold the viewer's attention
Agree with John and Closer. Beautifully written. Need to bring the visuals up to level of the written words and this would go far for sure. Great idea. First time I have seen anything on this. :)
PS: I'd suggest adding music to the intro, but I dig your writing. Good job. Love the "Lick my tie." Very original--culture commentary is always a great thing. :)
Majord0m0 commented 1 year ago
+3
I like that robogordon is investigating a powerful symbol and its personal meaning- already intrigued.
Additional nuance and emotional flavour through spoken word elements, great!
johnincalg... commented 1 year ago
+1
Your writing is poetic. I like this pitch and like its uniqueness. The challenge here would be to hold the viewers attention.
robogordon commented 1 year ago
+2
thanks! and John I totally agree, to make a longer piece would require more dynamic visual images for variety and to hold the viewers attention.
TheCloser commented 1 year ago
+2
This pitch is very unique and I like it. good job! I agree with John, would need a lot of visuals. The spoken pieces are very interesting, but yes, they would need equally dynamic visuals to hold the viewer's attention
JJincgy commented 1 year ago
+1
Agree with John and Closer. Beautifully written. Need to bring the visuals up to level of the written words and this would go far for sure. Great idea. First time I have seen anything on this. :)
tomato79 commented 1 year ago
+1
Really like this concept, think it will work well as a short film format.
randy commented 1 year ago
+1
You lost me at the "Windsor knot".
gdaggett commented 1 year ago
+2
Robogordon - Dipstick would love this! Way to go.
gdaggett commented 1 year ago
+2
PS: I'd suggest adding music to the intro, but I dig your writing. Good job. Love the "Lick my tie." Very original--culture commentary is always a great thing. :)